baby wise

Is it really so wise? So many people I know have used this book which is a schedule based and "cry it out" book and these people have sworn by it. I had really thought I would do cry it out with my baby because I didn't want her to become too dependent on me holding her or become demanding and learn that she get what she wants when she wants it. I wanted her to be able to put herself to sleep without me rocking her for hours or holding her until I thought it was safe to put her down without her waking up. But, like I said in my last post... I just can't do it. When my baby cries, every fiber in my body tells me to go and comfort her. Now, I'm not talking about just a little bit of fussing... I let her fuss and whine a little without doing anything and give her time during the day to entertain and sooth herself so she's not always attached to and relying on me, but if she actually starts to cry, I feel like a neglectful mom if I don't respond. At first I felt like a bit of a failure for not being strong enough to follow through, but I'm kinda tired of beating myself up and feeling guilty for doing things that I think will make my baby feel more loved (quit BFing).

Working with babies for a living, I was a firm believer that a baby CAN in fact be "spoiled". I haven't changed my view on that because I've seen from experience that the babies who get held all the time cry more when they are put down and no one is paying attention to them. What I have changed is how I feel about this and the wording I would use. At my job, it is a spoiled baby, but at home with my own baby, I would like to say she's a loved baby.
So, if I always respond to her cries, then I'm teaching her that she can always rely on the fact that I will be there for her? And if I hold her often, then she learns to enjoy and prefer to be nurtured and touched? Are these bad things to teach her? I don't think so.

A cousin of mine sent me this message when I had expressed concern about letting my baby cry it out, and I think it's a good point that I had never thought of: "I have a few friends that are in a Baby Wise cult I think. Their kids are 3, 4, 6 and 6 and when they fall or get hurt or need anything they scream bloody murder. It's sooo loud and they do it before they even know if they are hurt. I can't help thinking, I wonder if this is because they know their mom won't come for little cries and that they are conditioned into screamers. They all were Baby Wised when they were tiny. "

Having my own baby has completely changed my thinking. I love her so so so so much and the thought of her being lonely or scared or uncertain just kills me. I'm an ISFJ in the myers briggs personality categories and no matter how much I try to be a "T" instead of an "F", I just can't help but be a softy and feel what my baby is feeling. For those who aren't farmiliar with this, "T" stands for thinker and "F" stands for feeler. I think being a feeler is making the cry it out idea impossible for me. I understand why some people do it and I don't necessarily think it's wrong, in fact, I used to think it was the right way to do it, but for now at least, I can't do it and I won't do it.