thou shalt not judge

home birth vs hospital birth

breast feeding vs bottle feeding

cloth diapers vs disposables

crying it out vs constant nurturing

tight schedule vs whatever, whenever

sleeping on back vs sleeping on tummy

co-bedding vs crib

daycare vs SAHM

vaccinating vs not vaccinating

home school vs public school

I used to have pretty strong opinions on most of these things until I myself became a parent and realized how much things did not go as I had planned. This is obvious in my two previous blogs. I had planned to breast feed and that didn't work out, and I was positive I wouldn't have baby blues, but I was wrong. I feared peoples judgement about these two things so much, that the biggest lesson I've learned since becoming a parent is to not judge other moms. Different things work for different moms and different babies. We preach to parents at work to never put your baby on their belly to sleep, but we tried it for a couple of nights because she was spitting up at night choking and gurgling with milk shooting out of her nose, and we felt it was safer on her tummy so she could spit it out and we had seen her be able to move her head from side to side during tummy time, so we didn't feel she would smother herself. We eventually got a crib wedge to elevate her head instead of putting her on her tummy, but it was another realization that parents just do what they have to do. If your baby screams all night and will only sleep on their belly, then I can totally understand why you would make that decision.

Before she was born, I swore she would not be allowed in our room and that she would only sleep in her crib in her room, but after three nights of continuously getting up and walking from room to room to give her her binki because she had her days and nights mixed up, we decided to put her bassinet next to our bed until she was only waking up for feeds. We had her next to our bed until she was a month old.

I also had planned on doing ''cry it out", but the sound of my own baby crying for me just tears me apart. I just feel like I'm neglecting her calls for help. I'm not as "strong" as I thought I would be. I now understand why some moms can't do it, but also get why others do it. It's just whatever works for you.

I planned on having a strict eating and sleeping schedule, but this proved to not be as easy as I thought. She has a very regular bedtime routine, but during the day it's whatever, whenever. She eats small amounts frequently. At two months old I can still only get her to take 3oz max, but she wants to eat every two hours. I said I would be very strict on not letting her be a "snacky" baby, but I can't overfeed her and if she's done, I hate to force her to eat. Her schedule is different every day, but really I think I"m okay with that because my activities and plans are not always the same either, so it's good for her to be able to go with the flow a little.

All of these things and more made me realize that things don't always go as planned, you don't know what it's going to be like until you do it and not to judge other moms for their decisions or parenting because everybody is so different and there are a million factors that play into deciding what works for your family.
So to all those moms out there..... you're all doing a great job!