Last night I saw a picture on Facebook of an old friend showing off her pregnant belly picture on new years eve with the caption "so blessed".
Although I know the statement and picture has nothing to do with me and is not about me in any way, it did sting a little.
It says to me that I must not be blessed because I did not get to keep my baby. God must love her more than he loves me. I must not be deserving enough to carry my baby to term and bring it home with me.
I realize though that I am guilty of this too. I have said many times that I am blessed to have one healthy child. I am blessed to have my wonderful husband. I am blessed to live in a safe country free of war and genocide and full of opportunity. I am blessed to have my family, my home, my education, my job.... But I realize now that saying I am blessed because I have these things implies that poor, victimized, starving people in other countries are not blessed by God which I completely disagree with.
I don't think God is a puppet master. I think he can have influence, but I'm not entirely sure what I think his role is in each of our individual lives. I don't think that he would choose that some people have everything perfect and other wonderful people live in pure hell most of their lives. I dunno. It just doesn't seem like the right thing to say anymore.
I like the word fortunate better. It says the same thing but gives it just a hint of chance and luck instead of putting it all on God.
I am FORTUNATE to have all that I have and I thank God because I am grateful and don't want to seem as though I'm taking it for granted, not because I feel he has particularly chosen ME to have such great things.
But I do believe in the power of prayer. It's just that I don't think "blessed" should be used as a public word. It makes the "less blessed" feel bad. Maybe it should be used in a more private conversation with God and "fortunate" be used when talking to other people? Hmmm
Is this making sense?
No comments:
Post a Comment