nervous about getting excitied

Early last week, my mom came over and brought stuff to put in the surprise nursery and was unpacking clothes and packages and we went to the store to buy some blue hangers for Owen's stuff and some pink and blue storage baskets for the closet and I had trouble enjoying it. It was fun to finally do something to prepare for the babies, but it also freaked me out. I'm afraid to do too much preparing because I still feel like I might lose them. I have no guarantee that I will bring them home in September. Cord accidents can happen up to the very last second.
I know I need to prepare, but it kinda gives me anxiety. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I will be devastated no matter how much preparing I've done. I know what can happen. I know that possibility is there and NOT preparing is not going to make it any easier. In fact, I wonder if I will regret not enjoying the pregnancy and all this time I DID have with them?
I brought all of the girl clothes up from the basement and started organizing them by size and season and I plan on setting up the bassinets in our room in the next few weeks and we made the sprinkle invitations and are about to order them. And I decided that I do want to see the completed nursery before the babies are here because the original plan was for my mom to take everything down if the babies died so that I would never have to look at it and never would have know what it looked like. I was thinking this would help it be less of a "blow" but the more I thought about it, the more I thought that I think I would be kinda depressed about it and regret it if I never saw their room. Never saw the effort and love that went into it.  It's one of those things that may hurt more in the moment to see an empty nursery but in the long run would be better. I've learned that you can't hide from grief. It hurts and you have to just face it head on with full force or it will just drag on forever.
I can't just pretend these babies aren't coming. I need to get things ready, and just pray and hope that they will be ok.