Good day

Today was my first ultrasound. I was beyond nervous this morning. I knew that this could go one of two ways and that this would either be a really good day or a really bad day. I was so worried about there not being a heartbeat, or the heartbeat being slow or the baby not measuring correctly. I was sick to my stomach, had butterflies, shaking etc...

BUT.... It is a GOOD day!!

With C, they couldn't see anything by abdominal US because it was small and my uterus was retroverted (tilted toward my back), so I had to have an internal US.

This time, we could see right away on my abdomen!! My pregnancy with C fixed my uterus and this baby and bubble were big enough to see. We saw the heart beating right away at 142 bpm and it measured 7w 1 day which makes my due date April 16th.

I'm soooooo relieved and happy that I think I may go ahead and announce this pregnancy to everyone :-)

The last number

After I had the spotting, I had my HCG drawn and had calculated that it should be about 33,000 if it doubled every 48 hours from the previous draw a week earlier of 2820.

The doc called last Wed and my level was 21,000. She was all "looks great!" And I was all "that's too low!!" I told her what I had calculated and she told me that when it gets up this high, it only doubles every 3-4 days instead of every 2. But, being the pessimistic worrier that I am, I didn't believe her. I thought she was just trying to give me hope by saying that SOMETIMES this is the case. I got of the phone and cried and cried. I was sure I was having a miscarriage. The baby was no longer growing at a rapid pace, and that was it.

I wished that I had not had my level drawn this time. It was my idea and optional. My doc didn't think it was totally necessary and I debated whether or not to do it because I knew if it did not climb exactly like I had calculated, I was going to make myself crazy. I wish the nurse would've warned me about the slowing numbers ahead of time.

But, as I started talking to other people and looking things up on line, I found lots of information supporting this. After 6,000 it does slow down to every 3-4 days. Why didn't I know this? I thought I was up to date on all this pregnancy stuff.

This did relieve me some, but I still wouldn't feel satisfied until I saw a strong heartbeat.

signs so far

I have very little pregnancy signs. I'm one of those people that could go many months without knowing I'm pregnant because I also normally go months and months without a period.

But, since I DO know, I pay extra close attention to any changes to catch my symptoms.

So far, the similarities to C's pregnancy are

fast growing thick black hair on my lower belly (grosss, I know, that's what razors are for)

odd tingling back pain below my right shoulder blade. It's some kind of nerve issue I think.

My friend JL gets the same thing when she's pregnant and she went to a chiropractor and he told her it has to do with gallbladder irritation that radiates to that area. Weird.

Hip pain ALREADY. It's only slight right now, but I think the relaxin hormone has already loosened everything up. My hip and pelvic pain was my biggest pregnancy complaint with C, but I don't remember feeling anything until about 22 weeks. This time I was 5 weeks. It's gonna be a long 8 months.

Mild constipation compared to my norm

THIRSTY for water all the time. I can't get enough

Blonde eyebrows. I know this one sounds really weird, but with C a few of my eyebrow hairs turned white, and it's happening again. I have no idea what this is about.

mild dull cramps/ tugging/ pulling feeling in my uterus

Differences I've noticed are

with C I was only nauseous first thing in the morning. This time it seems to hit in the evening and nothing ever sounds good for dinner. I feel fine in the mornings. It's VERY mild nausea just like C's was though. I am thankful for this

My boobs don't hurt AT ALL. With C, they were mildly tender. I remember hearing people talk about how killer painful they were and thinking that mine were just slightly sore with C and that always worried me, but this time I could punch them and not even flinch. I'm not so worried about it this time.

My face is breaking out. With C I remember thinking how great pregnancy was for my skin because I never broke out. This time, it's a zit farm on my chin.

seeing brown

Yesterday morning I had two tiny streaks of brown spotting. WORRY!!! I know they say a lot of people spot throughout their pregnancy, especially in the first trimester, and that it can be no big deal, but I also know that it CAN be a big deal. How do you know when to panic? I had some pink and brown spotting when I was pregnant with C between weeks 5 and 6. I'm 6 weeks today. The fact that C made it here ok despite the spotting is reassuring, but I can't help but worry a little. My doc said that brown is GOOD, it means that it's old and I'm not actively bleeding. She guesses that it's from implantation, and just took a while to come out. Sorry for the visual. But I asked if I could have another HCG drawn again today just to make me feel better since my ultrasound isn't for another week. She agreed. Now I just have the torture of waiting until tomorrow to get the results. I've calculated that the number should be at least 24,336. That's a big number. I hope this baby can make it!

such an overachiever :-)

My HCG needed to be 1806 yesterday in order to be doubling every 48 hours and my doc called this morning and it was 2820!!!!!!!! Sooooo relieved. My progesterone was 24, which is a perfect number. My first was too low at 12.2, and the second was crazy high at 56, but I think I know why.

When I ovulated back in June I had asked my doc for a prescription for progesterone that I could take until I found out if I was not pregnant and then I would stop taking them. I took those pills with me to california and they went through a suitcase and plane ride and sat in a sometimes hot and humid and other times cold cabin and then I quit taking them when it was negative and the leftovers have been sitting in my nightstand drawer for over a month.

I didn't take them right when I ovulated this time because I decided that was unnecessary and just decided to start them when I got a positive.

Well, I didn't want to let the old ones go to waste before buying a new $20 bottle. They weren't expired. I took one immediately when I got the positive and then we left to go out to dinner. By the end of dinner I felt so dizzy and lethargic like I had taken an ambien. I could hardly eat or walk. At the time, I didn't know what was going on.

The next night the same thing happened and I realized it was always about an hour after my progesterone pill. I read the bottle and it said "may cause drowsiness or dizziness". But this didn't happen with C??

Well, these leftover pills had become a little "squishy". They were soft and the outer shell was gooey and if you shook the bottle, they all stuck together and didn't rattle in the bottle. I think they had broken down at some point in all of the weather change during travel and when I would take them they were releasing all of the hormone at once in my body and it was like taking a sleeping pill! So when I had my first level drawn it was low I'm guessing because I had taken my pill the night before and because it released so fast, it had also gotten out of my system fast instead of having a slow continuous release.

Then because of the low level my doc told me to take it twice a day, night and morning. So, when I went to have my second level drawn, I had just taken the pill and my level was really high!

Friday I started a fresh non-squishy bottle of pills and they don't make me as sleepy or weird and my levels are more normalized. 24 is right where it should be :-)

I am beyond happy today. My first sono is scheduled for Aug 30 to see a heartbeat and confirm a due date. According to my July 25 ovulation day, my due date should be April 16, but I know that I ovulated between 5-7 pm because I had killer cramps, so I'm guessing the egg didn't get fertilized until sometime the next day which would make me due April 17. So, I'm guessing the 17th, which will make me 7 weeks exactly at my sono. Although, with the lower HCG levels compared to C's, I'm wondering if it was a very late implant and my due date might even be a couple days later? We shall see :-)

I'm so excited and elated!! I was crying and shaking with joy over this HCG level. THANK YOU GOD for this gift! I feel incredibly fortunate.

I hate this part

I hate the first trimester. I actually have it pretty good in terms of symptoms.. I only get mildly nauseous from weeks 7-12, my boobs never hurt and I don't get the extreme fatigue everyone talks about. This is great right? Well, sort of. Without these symptoms to assure me I'm still pregnant, I worry all the time. At least this time I know this is normal for me.

I hate this trimester because you can't just be excited. I have to be worried all the time that I'm going to lose the baby.

It started pretty much immediately. After I got my first positive, I took another test friday morning to see if the test line had gotten any darker. It had, but only slightly. So, I had one leftover regular first response test at home. The previous tests were the "early result" first response tests. I decided to take that regular test on friday night. I didn't think there could really be THAT big of a difference between the early and regular tests. Right? I always kind of thought those labels were just a marketing ploy anyway. Wrong. The test came up NEGATIVE! I freaked out and had E run to the store to get me a new box of early tests so I could take one and reassure myself that I was indeed still pregnant.

The early test came up positive and was even a little bit darker than the friday morning test. Relief. I didn't test on saturday because I was making myself crazy, but tested one last time on sunday morning to see if it was darker. It was slightly, and I mean SLIGHTLY.

Tuesday Aug 9 I had my first HCG and progesterone drawn. I started taking my progesterone supplements the day I found out this time because it was so low with C's pregnancy, so I had them ready to go. Usually progesterone is over 20 when pregnant, but HAS to be above 12 at the bare minimum. Normal HCG at 4 weeks is 5-426, which I've never understood why there's such a huge range.

My doc called on Wednesday and my HCG was 104 and progesterone was only 12.2 even WITH my supplements. I was not happy at all about these results. I was exactly 4 weeks with this test and when I had my first level drawn with C, her HCG was 582 at 4 wks 2 days. Why is this one so low? What if it's not a healthy baby? I started analyzing. I thought that pregnancy tests detected HCG at a level of 20, so if I got a positive on thursday and it was 20, HCG should double every two days which means it should have been 120 by Tuesday. 104 is too low!!!! I balled hysterically, I was sure I was miscarrying. My doc assured me that every baby is different and said it's not was your HCG IS, but rather what it DOES.

Then I talked to my sis and she said that the regular tests detect at 20, but the early tests detect at 12. Oh good. That means that it wasn't even at 20 on friday because I got a negative on the regular test. So, lets say it was 12 on thursday... 24 saturday...48 monday...should have been 72 by Tuesday? So this means 104 is actually good. Small sigh of relief. Still wondering why it's so much lower than C's was, but I was two days further along with her and maybe she implanted earlier than this one did. Who knows?

So I had my second draw on Thursday and traded days at work. I was supposed to work friday, but I didn't want to get my results from the doc that I was miscarrying while at work, so I traded out of friday and into saturday :-/

Friday morning my docs nurse called and said "how much do you love me?" I knew by that statement, that the results must be good. My HCG was 301 and progesterone was 56! My doc had increased my progesterone from once a day to twice a day with the last result. It helped I guess! I was soooo relieved that the baby was growing at a good pace. The way my doc office works is once you have two HCG's drawn and they're doubling, you can make your first appointment for 6-7 wks. So, I was pumped to make my appt, but the nurse said that because they caught the pregnancy sooo early, my doc wants to test the HCG one more time the following week before I make an appointment. This bummed and worried me because I'm not any earlier than I was with C, and they didn't make me do a third with her. They must clearly be just as concerned as I am with the lower numbers, but don't want to tell me? If they were so confident in the pregnancy then why won't they let me make an appt?

I had that final test drawn today Tuesday Aug 16 and will know results tomorrow. I'm soooo nervous and praying for a healthy growing baby. Ugh, when will it be the second trimester already?

Telling everyone

Right away when I got the positive, I ran out of the bathroom and yelled out to E "I'm pregnant". He was on the phone with his mom at the time and sort of paused and hesitated what he should say to her. I gave him the go ahead because I was so excited and so he told her over the phone. After they got off the phone I was a little bummed that we didn't get to announce to them as planned. They were coming over on saturday and I had already bought C a shirt a week before in hopes of a positive that said "I'm the big sister." I was going to dress her in it and see how long it took for them to notice. It was a little anticlimactic when they came over on saturday, but oh well, the excitement of the moment was just too much on thursday :-)

I immediately called my friend/ coworker JL to tell her directly. Then I texted my older sister, friend M and 7 other coworkers who knew I was waiting to test (CO, LB, BK, JW, JD, KH and CS). I decided not to announce to everyone on FB and at work this time because last time I had some scary progesterone numbers and spotting in the beginning and was horrified at the thought of telling everyone I miscarried RIGHT AFTER I had announced a pregnancy. I wanted to avoid random people asking me "how's the pregnancy" and me having to say "oh, I lost it". I only announced to people that I talk to about this kind of stuff all the time anyway and wouldn't mind talking about a miscarriage. In fact, I would probably WANT to talk about it to them.

I'm still trying to keep it a secret at work as long as I can in the first trimester, but it's hard at work when you have to ask people to assist with xrays because you can't. It becomes pretty obvious at that point. So far I haven't run into this problem. Hopefully I can avoid it for another 7 weeks. We'll see.

Back to that thursday night: my family had already arranged dinner out that night at jose peppers to celebrate my youngest sister getting a big job! I thought this would be the perfct time to announce to everyone at once but didn't want to steal my sisters thunder. So, we dressed C in normal clothes and went through the whole dinner without saying anything. We didn't put a bib on C on purpose so after she was really messy, we had to change her clothes into the "big sister" shirt. No one really noticed at first so my older sister who already know piped up and said "I like C's shirt!" Then everyone looked at her and said "are you pregnant?" Then there were cheers and clapping and hugs and it was great.

What is cool is that we went to jose peppers the night I found out with C as well. That time my mom had called the instant I found out, so she was told over the phone and my parents took us to dinner there that night to celebrate. That restaurant will always have a special place in my heart.

I think it's funny that with C my parents found out immediately over the phone and E's parents had the big planned eventful announcement, and this time it was the other way around. Cute. I think I'm feeling way to sentimental right now ;-)