Wigglers!

I can REALLY feel them move now! Just last week the flutters started to be more noticeable but as of early this morning I can feel large drastic movements, especially if I'm laying still and quiet. There is NO better feeling

sugar issues

yesterday at my appointment I had glucose spilling into my urine. My OB had planned for me to take the glucose test at 23 weeks but decided I should do it now. I took my test today but I actually think there's a possibility I might pass. Normally when I drink the glucola I feel soooo sick and weird for a few hours after but today I felt pretty normal which makes me think maybe my sugar didn't get too high. I should know tomorrow.

Healthy babies and cervix

I had my level two anatomy scan on Monday. I was a little bit nervous for it because if something were to be wrong, this would be the day we'd find out. I was very focused on every detail. The level two is so much more involved. I really don't know why everyone doesn't get one because it can find a lot more defects than a traditional anatomy US. The tech was very good and explained every thing she was looking at. The look at the lenses of the eyes and look up the nose and the aortic arch and EVERYTHING. She did Owen first and everything looked great, and then the nerves had to start all over again for Eden, but praise the lord, she also looked perfect.
They both had great fluid levels and weighed around 9oz with Eden being slightly smaller in grams weight which is PERFECT. We want them to both be gaining at about the same speed but it's required for baby B to be just a little smaller if I want to deliver vaginally.
Owen is down low and Eden is up high in my stomach which would explain the weird waves of mild nausea I've been having. Owen has an anterior placenta but Edens is posterior which does make me worry a bit more about cord accidents. But both cords were three vessel and coiled and had great blood flow.
Also my cervix was actually longer than my last measurement. At 15 weeks it was 3.3 but according to the perinatologist my OB's office didn't measure it the most accurate way possible. They had done and abdominal US with a full bladder which they said can throw off the angle and shorten the cervix. The peri did an internal US with an empty bladder and it was 6.2 and when they pushed on my funds, it did funnel in a bit and brought it down to 5.4 but is still long enough that it's not a concern unless I were to have a lot of contractions that would cause funneling.
I'm just so very happy and feel so so fortunate to have two healthy babies growing in there.

from bad to worse (first L&D trip)

OH THE PAIN! So after I wrote the post on friday about my sciatic pain, it came back again friday night and I could NOT lay down. So, I once again could not sleep. Around midnight I dozed off sitting up and at 1am I woke with a startle. Something scared the crap out of me. THen I felt like I had to go to the bathroom really bad ( not pee ) so I hopped up and nothing happened. I laid back down and had a lot of really tight braxton hicks and kept getting lower back pain and pressure and the urge to go to the bathroom again plus I would get waves of nausea and I was shaking uncontrollably. After about 10 minutes of this I decided this wasn't normal and decided to go to L&D to make sure it wasn't early preterm labor. I called my mom who came to get me so Erik could stay home with Corynn. Once I got there the nurses were sure it was a UTI, but nope, that was negative. The monitor did not show any contractions, but I remember that when I had Brynn at 16 weeks, the monitors could never pick up a single contraction the whole time I was in labor with her. They're just not as strong at this early gestation, so they're hard to detect. My cervix was not checked because if there are no contractions and you're early, they don't like to irritate things further. After about an hour they gave me a muscle relaxer and everything relaxed so they sent me home. The thought is just that a lack of sleep and pain were the cause. I got home around 3am and finally fell asleep.
All day saturday I didn't move. I sat on the couch and Erik did everything. We were both hoping that if I didn't overdo it during the day, then my sciatic pain would not come back at night. Wrong. About 8pm, it started to flare up again. His mom brought us a recliner to borrow so that I could try sleeping in that. It did help. I have to sit up straight in it with just the legs kicked out. I can't lay the head back at all so I have to have a rolled up towel around my neck to keep my head from bobbing. It was restless sleep, but at least it was sleep. At  3am the pain was once again gone so I was able to actually lay back. It's like 8pm-3am every night. I don't know why. So even though sleep was not great, I decided to go in to work on Sunday. BAD IDEA. I had one of the busiest craziest days I've had in a long time. I did not sit down and did not leave until 8:30. I was in so much pain I thought I was going to die. I almost cried a few times. Some of my coworkers were sympathetic and helpful but others kind of had the attitude that since they never had pain while pregnant, well then, I must be complaining just to complain. I didn't get the vibe that everyone totally understood. To most it just sounds whiny when I say I'm only 19 weeks and can hardly walk.
Sunday night the sciatic pain was bad because of work but because I was so exhausted I did sleep fairly well in my chair. Monday night was the same thing again. I'm thinking this is just going to be the new routine... horrible pubic and pelvic pain during the day esp when walking and bad sciatic pain at night that prevents me from laying down. But miraculously last night I didn't have the sciatic pain. YAY! Lets hope this keeps happening.
After all of my weekend events, my OB wrote an order yesterday for me to work less. I can only work two 8 hr shifts each week. Because the pain leads to no sleep which then leads to contractions, she did not want me on my feet so much at work which is fine by me! She said that if I was pregnant with one, she wouldn't be as concerned, but with twins we have to be careful. At this point I don't even care if I use all my time and have no maternity leave. I need it more right now. The important thing is getting them to term!
I'm going to see a chiropractor this week and really hope that helps!

bad pain

My aches and pains have increased drastically this week (18 wks). I feel like I'm closer to about 28-30 weeks. My belly is huge and everything hurts!! Bad! I feel like such a whiner and feel like I get weird looks from people when I tell them how much pain I'm in because I'm still so early. Most of the time it's my pubic area that hurts. It feels like pinched nerves that radiates pain to my groin and inner thigh muscles. It is so bad that it hurts to move my legs at all and one of the most painful movements is trying to use one foot to push on the heel of the other foot to take my shoe off. Getting up and down off the floor is also horrible in this department. It's almost like a charlie horse in my crotch.
If I walk or stand for more than about 20 minutes at a time this pain gets so intense that I start to waddle and have to make very small slow movements to avoid severe pain.
The other day at work I had to stand and walk most of my 12 hour shift and my whole pelvis just ached so bad. My lower back, my hips, my groin. Oh I was hurting so bad by the end of the shift!
And then there's my sciatics. Last night my right sciatic hurt so bad that I could NOT lay down. I tried every position and had pillows propped in every way imaginable but nothing worked. It would zing and make my whole leg jump. There was no sleeping because I had to sit up to make the pain go away. At 1 am I called in sick to work because I still had not fallen asleep and didn't know if I would ever be able to. By 3am I finally fell asleep sitting up with 8 pillows propped behind my back and head. By 5am the uncomfortable position woke me again and the sciatic pain had finally gone away and I was able to lay down flat for a couple hours before Corynn woke up. I'm exhausted today.
My boss called and recommended that I apply for intermittent FMLA to protect my job so that if I have to call in anymore due to the pregnancy, it will not count against me. It was very nice of her to tell me this bc I didn't even know this was an option.
I really don't think I'll be able to work all the way to the end because this pain is just horrible and all I want to do is lay in a reclined position on the couch. I think I may need to invest in a recliner. I wonder if I can rent one during the pregnancy?
I'm so lucky in the first trimester, I never get sickness or fatigue. But man, once the babies start growing in my pelvis, my body just falls apart. I really feel for old people whose joints and muscles just hurt all the time.

kicks

I'm pretty sure I've been able to feel little kicks the last few days. They are small and almost always felt down very low where there's no fat and muscle in the way, but they are definitely there! I love it and I can't wait until I can feel every move they make. Right now it's just a few times a day. So far, Eden is the more active of the two but that could be because Owen has an anterior placenta and it's harder for me to feel him. I can't wait to meet them in September.

Owen and Eden

So last weekend we officially decided on Eden, well I guess you could say I officially decided and Erik said ok. He's said all along that I should use the name I like because I will be the one to regret it later if I don't but that he really doesn't care that much. He has said that if I ask his opinion, he likes April better but that he honestly hardly ever thinks about it and it's just not a big deal to him. The last action sequence he read in his dragon book is on his mind more often than the names of the babies. But I was kinda just waiting for him to eventually like the name better than April before I decided for sure.
On Sunday his mom finally gave her opinion and said that she liked Eden better because April holds meaning related to losing Brynn and she thought it might be a bit much to put on her that she's named after her dead sister that she never met and wasn't around for and that it fits better as a middle name. Using Eden for a first name would give her more of her own identity completely separate from Brynn. I agreed (mainly because it was in favor of my name ;-) ). I told Erik what his mom had said and I he just said "yeah"... "you can use Eden if you want, I've told you I'm fine with it" so I decided I'm going to. YAY! Now I've been calling them by name and it's so fun and cute.
I want to add that the name April is not directly being named "after" Brynn. It holds meaning for me... when I found out I was pregnant with Brynn and due in April I said "oh an April baby! Perfect. " I'd always thought it was such a beautiful time of year to have a baby and I was excited to have one. Well, I never got my April baby, but I like to think that God is returning her to me with Eden, so I will finally be getting my "April baby" AND April means "opening buds of spring" or "new life". To me it's like a new fresh beginning. It has a lot more meaning than just the month Brynn was due.

Actually, I take that back

I still love Eden. Despite all the reasons I came up with to convince myself to choose April, I really like Eden.

Now, I just need Erik to agree.

I'm just not going to give her an official name yet. I think if I let it simmer for awhile, maybe Erik will start to like the name?

He said he doesn't like names that he's never heard used before. He has to have heard it used for a person at least once and it can't be someone he had a bad association with. He has never heard anyone use Eden as a name so to him it's weird and seems made up.

I told him I've heard it and think it goes great with our other names.

He said he doesn't hate it, but prefers April. He said I can use it if I want, but I don't want to use it unless I feel like he likes it too.

Maybe if he just starts to get used to the idea of it being a name he'll realize how much he loves it ;-)

So, girl name to be announced.

The names are decided

Thanks for everyones input on the April vs Eden debate. After a lot of discussion with my Erik and opinions and votes from friends and family as well we have decided on

April Eden

to go with

Owen Derik

While I still LOVE the name Eden and prefer matchy matchy myself, there were some winning arguments that made me stick with April.

one person said Eden sounds like a naughty name and my husband agreed that it's "weird like a stripper" name. I disagree but don't want her dad thinking she has a stripper name.

Also we looked up trends for every year as far back as both names go. April has been around FOREVER and is falling in popularity but Eden has only been on record since 1986 and is rising quickly in popularity. My fear is that it will suddenly have a drastic increase and become a fad like Ava or Aiden. It's too unpredictable and April is a safe classic bet.

And the winning argument is that it sounds too much like Aiden and when I introduce my twins as Owen and Eden, people will think I said Aiden and think they are two boys and Aiden is so heavily used thatI don't like that it's so similar.

So, I will leave Eden as a middle name since I still think it's so pretty and love the meaning.

April Eden it is!!

Girl name debate

Owen Derik is for sure our boy name and April Eden was going to be the girl name but after a suggestion, I'm now thinking of doing Eden April instead.

If it was going to be two girls it was April Eden and Autumn Ember

Two boys would be Owen Derik and Noah Nickum

Boy and girl would simply be Owen and April.

April is named after Brynn for 1. April is when she was due and 2. it means "new life".

Eden means paradise which is where I think Brynn is in heaven AND it will be paradise for me when these babies arrive alive and healthy!

So far I've done Corynn, Brynn and Owen and Eden seems to match my style a little more than April and ends in "N" like all the others.

And I think Owen and Eden are cute together.

But Erik likes April better and thinks Eden is a weird first name.

I would like votes and opinions. I like both but think I love Eden more.

usual aches and pains

My biggest complaint just like with Corynn's pregnancy is my muscle pain. The muscles around my pelvic area, groin and upper thighs KILL me if I stand or walk too much. I feel like I just did the biggest work out of my life and my muscles fibers are being ripped apart. I hurts to move my legs and it makes me waddle like a typical pregnant lady. My support belt helps a little but DANG am I sore!

I also have been getting the usual second trimester headaches that never end. Tylenol helps a little but I've started having teensy bits of caffeine (tea or pop) which seems to also help.

I have some reflux if I eat late at night, but not bad at all yet.

And my lower back hurts if I stand too long.

I still have tons of Braxton hicks and occasional painful contractions (about 1-3 per day). But I guess that's just gonna be my normal.

I love all of it if it means I get healthy babies in the end.

cervix

when I went in at 12 weeks for bad cramping/contractions my cervix measured 4.7 cm which is very long! It just needs to be above 2.5. In a singleton pregnancy it starts to go below 2.5 after 32 weeks.

At my 15 wk US my cervix measured 3.3 cm. This is still good but it was a rapid drop from 4.7 in only 3 weeks time.

My doc says it's fine and not to worry, just to take it easy but no real restrictions at this time.

I just hope it doesn't continue to get shorter. My next check will be at 19 weeks.

I am terrified of preterm labor! No preemies for me please!

can't help it

After losing Brynn, I had said that I would try my hardest not to get too excited or attached to the next pregnancy. I said I wouldn't buy anything and I wouldn't call them by name because I had picked out names for it they lived and different names for if they died because I didn't want to use my favorite names if the baby didn't make it.

Well, throw all that out the window. No matter how much I try not to be, I'm excited. I already bought a couple outfits. Nothing too expensive, but I just HAD to go shopping. Also my grandma got me almost ALL the big stuff we need. We're keeping the receipt just in case, but as much as I had wanted to, I can't just pretend we don't have babies coming.

And I can't do separate names like I thought. I want to call them by name and I'm not going to call them two names and I especially don't want to call them by a "death name". How depressing. I wasn't going to announce names for this reason because it all depended on the outcome. But I know that their names are already set in my mind no matter what happens. I won't be able to change them. It will be the same as Brynn. If I don't give them their "living" names, I will feel like I'm taking their names away from them.

Plus, if I lose these babies, I don't think I will have anymore. I will probably be done if I have to suffer again so I might as well use my favorite names no matter what.

100% FRATERNAL

So at the end the 14 wk scan at the Peri I had asked the tech to just look between the legs so that we could see if we thought they looked the same or different but told her I know that it was too early for her to feel comfortable guessing, so she didn't have to say anything, but just let us look. So that's what she did she said "here's B between the legs" and "here's A between the legs". We immediately thought A was a boy even thought it was early but didn't get a great shot of B. The tech got an image of the baby's back with the legs open instead of looking up from underneath the butt, so we had no idea on this one except Erik thought he had seen and we kinda thought it was a girl but really had NO confidence in this so I was really hoping to get a better look at my next 15 wk US. I was rather annoyed that the tech didn't get the correct image for gender ID. I bet she thinks I just don't know what the right angle is and that I would be satisfied with that. What is it with techs not playing nice?

So then I had my 15 wk US at my doc and got the US tech that I think is a bitch. I knew she would be difficult so when I got in, I didn't ask to see the genders, I said "we want to look at genders today" she said "ok but it may be a bit early" and I said "oh that's ok you don't have to guess, I just want to see so that I can guess". She seemed annoyed with this and was immediately like "oh well I don't think they're going to show us much with the positions they're in". We were able again to see baby A and guessed he was a boy but baby B had it's legs close together. The tech put NO effort into trying to get a good look but then for a second we were pretty sure we got a good look and me and my mom cried out "that's a girl" and at that moment the tech took the wand off my belly and said "well I didn't see any boy parts but the legs were kinda close together". COME ON! If she would have stayed on the image for just a bit longer we could've been 100% confident but NO, god forbid you make a mom happy, I mean it's the ONE fun thing we have to take our minds off of all the worry in pregnancy. Being a NICU nurse and having lost a baby, I worry enough for everyone and I KNOW it's not the most important thing but why can't they just let us have fun and enjoy that one bit of non- important fun info? I swear there are so many US techs like that and it pisses me off. AND she didn't print any pictures of either of the gender shots so I had nothing to verify. I was so mad. I was supposed to have a 30 minute US and she only spent 10 minutes and was not nice about it. I complained to my OB and I hope she yells at her :-)

SO, because of her, I ended up going to the elective ultrasound where I could pay someone to actually spend time on the genders. I was a nervous wreck but really wanted to find out before Easter so I decided I would go as long as I heard two heartbeats on my doppler that morning. My mom didn't want to go because she just didn't think she could go back to that place but she ended up deciding to go at the last minute as long as we did things differently. Last time she met us there but this time she wanted to ride with us and we didn't want to park in the same area or go in the same door of the building.

Once we got into the room with the same guy who told me Brynn had no heartbeat, I started to get pretty nervous. My mom wouldn't sit down until we saw them both moving. Once I saw both babies wiggling it was a huge sigh of relief! It ended up being such a fun ultrasound and we got some really cute and fun images. I'm glad we went! Baby A is a BOY and baby B is a GIRL!!! I feel so happy to be getting one of each. I was so excited I went right out and bought some matching blue and pink sleepers and hats. It's going to be so fun.

On saturday we announced to my family using easter eggs. Most were filled with yellow purple and green mm's but one had all blue and one had all pink. We opened one at a time until the answers were revealed. It was very exciting!

Then on Sunday we did the traditional cutting of the blue and pink cakes for Eriks family.